Let’s check out the second part of the Ring tetralogy and become Wagner experts. And be super smug.
The action starts when, in the middle of the night, a hobo crashes into a lady’s house and falls exhausted. Instead of calling the guards-of-the-trible, she’s cool, and offers him a glass of whater. He drinks it and IMMEDIATELY throws the lady a wolf-whistle.
She’s cool, it’s the house of Hunding and she’s like «Why don’t you stay and recover? You are wounded?» But he is too much into the toxic masculinity thing, brushes it off and keeps throwing compliments her way. So she brings him a beer. And he’s like «Yeah but did you taste it first?». This dude knows how the ancient French checked whether their wives had been drinking in their absence. (ie. That’s why it’s called a French kiss).
He wants to leave, she kinda wants the opposite, but he’s a troubled soul, pursued by ill fate and stuff. He’s got enemies donchaknow. She insists on him staying, arguing that there’s already plenty of ill fate in her house.
One piece of advice: If someone uses a similar line with you, flee. Seriously. «Your problems are bad but stay because my problems are worse» that’s the mark of Crazy, broadcasted to all frequencies. Run.
They have the hots for each other and almost kiss. But shit’s akward man. They both immediately re-think it, because, surprise surprise, mr. Hunding show’s up in a perfectly timed manner. They immediately start acting all normal, you know what I mean? The husband has one request: my hearth is sacred yo. also «Serve us food biatch.» Oh and they keep acting totally non suspicious with handbrushes and stuff.
But hunding knows something is afoot. Not in the way I have been insinuating until now, no, he detects a similar glint in both their eyes.
Then he questions the hobo. Name, origin, where was he travelling from. He doesnt want to say, so Hunding asks to tell his wife, who’s standing there with them. Because that makes sense. He gives his rapper names «Cheerful», «Peaceful» but says that he has to be called «Woeful». And, totally unasked, tells the story of his life. He was born with a twin sister but some invasion made them apart, and he ended up with another hobo called Wolf in the woods. So he should be called «Woeful the Wolwerine». Wolf cub actually but I had to make that joke. They were chased by the attackers but wolves helped. He lives in the forest but wanted to be among men and specially women. You might think I am exagerating but it’s emphasized. Also his tale is very woey, and tells that discords follows him. People fight to the death and many people accidentally fall on the hobo’s sword by complete accident. Not great optics.
Hundig says «ok, so you bad mojo, you must be pretty cray». The wife tries to defend him. Mr. bum explains he decided to save some lady from being married against her will. So he killed her brothers and she was, unsurprisingly, bummed about that. More relatives came, the girl refuses to leave (she’s busy mourning) so he fights and fights, till she dies and he peaces out. That’s how he lost his weapons. All of this explains his nickname.
Hundig shares his own tale of woe. He was late to a family vengeance. Shame. Then he points out he followed the tracks of the attacker to his own home. And warns him, that hospitality for tonight, and tomorrow, fight to the death.
That’s an honorable man, hell. A male chauvinist one too, since he tells the wife to prepare him a beer and wait in bed. The hobo tries to defend her but he still has a blade, and he doesn’t. This is the most awkward reunion since that last speech at the end of The Big Short. Hobo and wife are left alone while she, explicitly, on the scene, clears the table. There’s sparks, the husband isn’t blind, so there’s more threats of violence.
Mr. Hobo remembers that his dad profesized he’d find a sword when in dire need, and muses about the hot wife. And in very poetic words goes on and on and on about how hot she is.
The wife comes back and reveals she has roofied the husband (the tetralogy has a surprising amount of roofies), and tells the guy that there’s this sword he could use but he needs to be hero-strong. Oh and adds that she was forced to marry Hunding too. In the circumstances, that’s a clear come on.
That weapon was from another hobo who stuck it in a tree during her wedding, and who she recognized because of the glint in his eye, but reveals no more. That sword, by the way, is in the trunk that supports the house. Meaning: it’s right there. Then she sings about that hero who tried to save her during her wedding and stuck the sword there, and asks for his return.
At this point I am super confused because I have no idea if she’s her twin, or if they have the megahots for each other. Or both (ew!) In any case, both are pretty aroused, and sing about it for a while. Springtime of their loving and all that jazz.
He ends up revealing who his father was, the dude who stuck the sword. She gives him a new name, Siegmund. He digs it. And pulls the sword from the tree, and names it Nothung.
It is still ambiguous at this point whether they don’t know they are siblings or they don’t give a fuck. In any case, he’s like «Yeah, why don’t we elope». By this point they figure out they are related, AND don’t give af. Maybe that’s why fate doesn’t like them, because incest is gross?
And with this gross note, the first act ends.
Second act open in Valhalla where Odin tells Brunhilde the Valkirie, his daugther, that there’s going to be a battle and she should prepare to bring those souls. She says that sure, np, but her mom’s coming and she’s in a foul mood too. So he mans up to face the rage of his wife. She comes and she mad. She maaaaaad.
Here’s the problem: Odin hates Hunding and wants Siegmund to win (spoiler: it’s his one more of his bastard sons), Freya roots for Hundig and wants Siegmund to die. Among other things because she’s the God of wedlock and the lady, Sieglinde, was married legally. I mean, married against her will, but that’s not Freya’s problem.
She mad at Siegmund and Siglinde a lot. Odin wonders why, and she calls his BS. There was a marriage, so she’s on that side. He believes in love, she in marriage. He’s cool with adultery, and, as it turns out, with incest too. (Gross).
Wagner, as usual, doesn’t disappoint with the whole «healthy familiar relationships thing».
She goes further and points out «dude, those are your own kids, and also you are being a deadbeat god. Like wtf, are you just going to let them f***???»
She might be the godess of wedlock, but her husband does not exactly worship her. He’s the cheater type. She pleads. Like ok, this happened, but at least don’t fuck up my godhood, incest is wrong. Which, duh. And asks to just kill all the witnesses.
Odin mentions that yeah, this situation might destroy the gods (apparently that’s what’s at stake) and mentions that the situation cannot be solved by the gods, it must be a hero who doesn’t follow godly design. So he tries to pass it on as if it was his design all along to cheat on his wife and put a bun in some poor lady’s oven.
Odin argues he never extended his protection to the child, and his wife points out that leaving a sword where he’d find it was the same. Freya sure has Odin’s bullshit on speed dial, because she calls it a lot.
Odin unwraps a dead wolf at that point, because why not. His wife wants Siegmund to be on his own, no divine help. Makes Odin swear. Not even Valkirie-y help.
Brunhilde the valkirie shows up. It’s obvious her and her mom don’t get along. Healthy families. Freya knows that if Odin doesn’t do as she says the gods will lose all respect and vanish. Time for Odin to make some hard choices.
«Mom was laughing, so the fight was bad. So, do I kill my bastard brother»? HEALTHY FAMILIES I TELL YOU.
Brunhilde wants orders. Not only she is another bastard daughter from Odin, who like most head gods cannot just keep it in his pants. No, she’s creepy in how much she wants to follow orders. So orders she gets, secret.
Turns out Alberich the giant still has the Ring, so he’s a threat to Odin’s power. Loki made him do it you know. He then reveals that the price for learning more about the Ring from the goddess of earth* was having 8 illegitimate sisters, the Valkiries. Oh and he’s been monging war so he’d have more pals in Valhalla. Sick asshole.
*The frase «Through love I overpowered the woman» is priceless. Oh and at no point are we told when did Odin dump Erda
So yeah, Alberich is looking for the Ring, has an army, and he’s gunning for Valhalla.That’s why he wanted heroes for. With the Ring, Alberich’d rule them all and defeat the gods. Odin needs that Ring. It’s with Fafner, the former giant, that Odin can’t attack because he made a pact with him. Through alliances he became ruler, and alliance now make him slave. That’s why he needs a hero who is free.
Then he makes a point: «As a god, I find myself in everything that I do». That’s fucked up and I bet it gets boring quickly, to only be surrounded by servants to yourself. I guess the other gods are dicks?
That’s when she gets it and tells the public. Fathering mortal children is what will doom the gods. Moral: Keep. It. In. Your. Pants.
Also Alberich paid a woman to have his son, who hates the gods. Because nature, not nurture. Side note.
So (logically!) he renounces his own will and Brunhilde should fight for Freya and kill Siegmund.
But she has a free will and defends her half brother. He’s made about that, almost kills her for her defiance. But she finishes the scene by singing the very well known aria «Nah, I’ll do what I want to.»
Back to the fucking brother and sister. They are married but she’s acting weird. There might be some trauma involved, who knows. She’s having buyer’s regret on the whole incest thing. She’s lived amongst humans after all. And is technically married so she feels guilty. Oh and she now lives in the forest with a hobo.
«Nah, a swipe of this sword to your husbands neck and shit’s fixed» he says.
Said husband, Hunding, is approaching with dogs and armed me. Siegmund decides to go for a pee of something where he’s found and murdered in sight of Sieglinde.
Actually no, she comes back from peeing, Sieglinde is passed out from shock.
Siegmund goes off scene to smoke one or something, when Brunhilde shows up and tells him that he’s a goner, and she’s gonna take him to Valhalla. She’s seen’im after all.
Siengmund is cool with the whole «going to valhalla» business, but not without his sister. She’s so impressed with his passion that decides to help him. I bet this lady heard that BS about «but family is everythiiiiing» a lot of times growing up.
Before Hundig shows up Sieglind has a brief episode of PTSD. Then the men taunt each other and finally, FIGHT SCENE!!
Siegfried loses in the end. He was going to win but Odin sees what Brunhilde is going to do and shows up in person and destroy’s Nothung, and has Siegmund killed Because he spears him. and dies, and Brunhilde flees with a pregnant (EW!) Sieglinde. Odin also kills Hundig disdainfully. He didn’t have it coming.
Second act ends.
Third act starts with dudes machinegunning people from helicopters. You know what I mean.
The valkiries are back from hauling dead heroes to Valhalla, and are now moking them and kicking them around, because frankly, why not. One of the valkiries comments that her mare has already suffered a heroes rage. I want one thing very much: to not thing about what she means.
The valkiries send the men off to Valhalla and wait for her sister. They are shocked to discover she’s carrying a woman, and not a hero (toxic masculinity yo) on her horse. Everyone’s shocked, all the more so because she admits she’s fleeing and defying Odin. He is bearing down on them.
Also, they call him «battlefather». Which…
So yeah, she’s gone rogue and the Valkiries are all WTF?
Sieglinde wakes up and wishes she had just been killed beside Siegmund. She asks for the valkirie to slay her. The Valkirie tells her that she’s preggers and should care for her child. That changes her mind, because you know how bitches are about babies. So she flees. To a cave. Some Valkirie points out that’s a bad place for a lone woman. You don’t say. Oh, and the cave has a Dragon, Fafner (yeah, from the previous episode) with the Ring in it. But Odin won’t go there so….
She flees after the valkiries have a brief debate about where to, and Brunhilde stays to face her dad.
Odin is pissed off, although he admits she was doing what he actually wanted! After a massive rant, Brunhilde shows her mettle and gives herself up. She gets punished by… not being a Valkirie anymore and being cut from the gods. Which I understand, it sucks to lose your trust fund, but she will no longer be her servant so there’s that. But no, he’s putting her to eternal sleep in a mountain, like an asshole. Inside a ring of fire no less.
Before her punishment, she pleads to him. Why so serious? I did what you actually wanted, not your orders! Not only that, but those two are passionately in love. So there. Oh also she fell for him too. Because the call of blood I guess. There’s like a strong theme in all of these, I dunno.
At this point Odin goes on another rant in which he flips from «only you knew what I really wanted» to «Who the fuck are you to presume you know what I want?» inside of the same paragraph They argue back and forth and he’s very ashamed because, as she pointed out, it’s not like he managed the Valkiries well. No training, no support. Anyway so he lovingly puts her in the ring of fire.
By the way, the ring of fire thing is because she’d rather be put there, than with some man that would beat her. No, the ring of fire can only be crossed by awesome heroes, ensuring that whoever wakes her up is not just some deadbeat.
So yeah, another story of a dysfunctional family. Oh and he has to call Loki to do the whole fire thing, because Norse gods, apparently, are specialized. Like insects.